[9 days. Maybe 4 miles behind Chez F. I got snagged by barbed wire, almost rolled my ankle 12 times, and ran over questionable wild animal poop, but I sang until tears rolled down my cheeks.] September 5, 2015
I started running after graduate school because I was so newly in love that I ate everything in sight without a care in the world. We ate out constantly and finished every night off with ice cream (and a smile). I hate to admit that I started running to lose weight, but I did. [Insert cliché here.] I started on the indoor track at Georgia Tech because I was so scared of getting tired and not being able to get back to the start. 6 laps = 1 mile seemed safe enough. After many months, I finally admitted to a friend what I’d been up to and he suggested that I run outside so I wouldn’t be afraid and bored. I was clinging to counting my laps but knew I wanted more, so I started running the Pi Mile around campus. Oh thank goodness the nerds wanted to track their distance because I was obsessed with tracking mine! A few months before we left Atlanta we adopted Cash – a 4ish-year-old, 130-lb Great Dane. Now I had a running partner, a brand new 1st generation iPod, and I was starting to let go.
California was a whole new level of freedom. Without a job, I had nothing but free time. Without any friends, I had nothing but my dog. Without the easy food of the big city, I had nothing but my meager cooking skills. The extra 15 lbs were quickly shed and I was left with my head and heart to deal with. On the dry, shadeless trails of the central coast, I tried to work out my grief over losing my dad and leaving my job. I tried to deal with a lifestyle I didn’t choose. I tried to come to terms with solitude I didn’t ask for. And I tried to work through so. much. frustration.
I think this is when the wolf was born. I was wild and out of control in so many ways. I would go out on my own to explore and escape but I would always come back home to Will. Even when we couldn’t talk about what was happening, he would wait patiently while I did what I had to do – the only thing I could figure out to do.
The true gift of running is when you are in good enough shape to stop concentrating on the running. For me this comes when I can run at least 5 miles, 3 times a week. I can get to the point where I feel like I’m flying. High on music and drunk on adrenaline. On this particular day I hit that sweet spot. I was running wild and singing and feeling everything. And then I came home to Will.
#thewolf #wlhforever #youwereallieverlongedfor #20gr8 #mynephewisstillsleeping #tilthecasketdrops