[It’s been 12 days since I put the call out and I have to say your response has been phenomenal. Thank you for every like, private message, text, call, and visit. It has all fueled my fire. From stories of empathy to virtual fist bumps, I am blown away by it all. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. You’re awesome.] September 10, 2015
A friend gave me this simple white card with the shiny gold words “you’re awesome” emblazoned on it. I thought You must have the wrong person. YOU ARE THE AWESOME ONE. You are ALL awesome!
While I didn’t think I was awesome at the time, I was proud of myself for one thing – asking for what I needed. It’s a vulnerable place to be. Needing help is uncomfortable. Asking for help can be even worse. At least for me it is. I have hauled queen-sized mattresses up full flights of stairs because I was too uncomfortable to ask for help. I am one to muscle through (and maybe, possibly cry to my husband), but never put out a call for H-E-L-P over the world wide web.
But do you know what the best feeling in the world is? People stepping up and meeting you there. When you feel like you are standing there naked and exposed and they step forward to wrap you in warm blankets. They also tell you that you are lovely and that you deserve it. That right there will make you feel like you can take on anything.
But there’s more. What came back to me beyond the support that I asked for were personal stories from which empathy was born. Stories I didn’t know about as they were being written. Stories bravely told now to help me at the beginning of my journey. I knew now that there were not just friends walking along side me, but there were friends up ahead who had already cleared a path for me. And those friends would each tell me that this journey would change my view of life and give me a gift at the end. An appreciation that I didn’t have right now. They told me to have faith and follow their lead. That right there made me feel less alone. And that was everything.
I didn’t believe them of course. Something good could come of all of this? Breast cancer at 40?? My babies are too young! I felt like I was in the midst of a nightmare veiled in disbelief. It would take me weeks to see a glimpse of what they were talking about. But I did see it. I DO see it. And I feel it with my whole heart. I’ve been given a real gift.
#operationgetitout #letsburnthismotherfuckerdown #tilthecasketdrops