[Demi Moore, Sigourney Weaver, Sinead O’Connor, Jane Curtain. Any way I think about it, I just can’t get used to this cue ball.] December 13, 2015

I love this photo, but I hate this bald head. Go figure. I can’t even.

It hadn’t even been a month. My sister bought me 2 hats while she was in town. And I was getting ready to go to a friend’s holiday cookie party. I was freaking out and trying to own the dome at the same time. I am going to consider that phrase newly coined –

OWN THE DOME.

I was trying to come up with an inspiring role model, but it just wasn’t working. A friend from grad school went through this and she told me that she loved being bald so I had hopes. But NO. I am now, 4 months later, no better off than I was on this day. {sigh}

I went to the party in the new hat my sister bought me and this cowl neck sweater and new earrings that my sister gave me too. I really tried! Well, it got hard to wear the hat inside the house and I felt awkward so I just took it off. And then I felt horribly exposed and I didn’t know everyone there so I walked up to my friend, Melanie, and I just started crying. Dear God. I thought What have I done?!  Luckily, she hugged me. This friend of mine who was at my wedding and has seen me through 2 babies. This same friend who watched my first baby for an hour a week so I could go to a therapist because of what I didn’t realize at the time was baby blues. There were others who saw me and were incredibly supportive. Of course, I was in a room of young moms!

BUT I STILL HATED IT.

The entire situation. It’s been a real struggle for damn near 5 months.

It’s like I’ve been through a war and I can handle all of the bumps and bruises I got but I still have a nagging hangnail that I can’t get off my mind. It seems so trivial in the grand scheme. Part of me thinks it’s because I feel like a cliche and I hate the thought of being a cliche. The young mother with breast cancer. Poor thing. Part of me thinks that I’ve pitied cancer patients before and now I don’t want that pity.

BECAUSE PITY SUCKS.

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Look at that shining star. If only I could keep that in mind.

#sigh #ikindahateit #imgoingtothepartyanyway #ironicallyijustshavedmylegs

One thought on “Dome

  1. Okay, you can hate it, but you’re the friend I have (or person I know) who has rocked long hair, short hair, really short hair, no hair, a neck tattoo, a hennaed head, hats, caps, a wig, and that Charlie Brown curly-cue thing. All while kickin’ cancer’s butt.

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