Have you heard of the Cancer Card? This imaginary card you receive upon diagnosis that you can pull out whenever you don’t want to do something or there is something that your little heart desires. This ace of spades can make you feel special at the very least and invincible at the very best. It can be just the leg-up that you need when you are feeling like the underdog battling an opponent that doesn’t play fair.
I realized that this fictitious card was giving me the freedom to ignore many of my inhibitions. It was quieting the devil on my shoulder that constantly said, “Why would they want to talk to you…that’s a stupid idea…she could do that better…who do you think you are?!” The angel on the other side was waving the card and shouting, “GO FOR IT…you have NOTHING TO LOSE…you can do ANYTHING…what are you waiting for???…THERE’S NO TIME TO WASTE!”
I slowly realized that there really was no Cancer Card. There was no devil and no angel. It was all in my head. There was just me deciding to do what I wanted to do without worrying about the outcome.
So I decided to keep telling my story – the one that takes place in this little house that I love.
I have followed the blog Design Mom for years and have always loved the series Living With Kids. Every Tuesday I drool over the uniquely-curated house as I read about how another parent is raising her/his children in another place. It’s like being an [invited] fly on the wall in someone’s life. I find that I inevitably compare their life to mine and take mental notes on things I would like to change. As a stay-at-home mom in a small, isolated city, I find that I welcome the varied perspectives.
So I emailed Gabrielle and told her a bit about how I’d been raising my girls while also going through treatments for breast cancer. To my delight, SHE WROTE RIGHT BACK. She wanted photos in 2 weeks!
Hanging the pile of pictures I had been meaning to hang and ordering the curtains I had always wanted to order was the stressful part. Once the photos were submitted, answering the questions that Gabrielle forwarded was the fun part. I loved thinking about what makes each of the girls so special to me and why Will and I make such a good team. I also shed a few tears recounting the difficult times we had this year and the invaluable lessons that were learned. After a couple of late nights and lots of editing by Will, I emailed my completed interview to Gabrielle. Phew!
Here’s the interview.
I’d love to know what you think! When was the last time you said I’m going for it! and put yourself out there? Did it make you want to do it again?