Do you ever cry in public?
Well, I did yesterday. Will knew I was out of sorts, so after I dropped the girls off at school and he had his PT appointment, he asked me out to breakfast at A Tavola. (sidenote: Married women still like to be asked out sometimes – by their husbands at least.) As we inched closer to the topic of my worries and fears, the waterworks started flowing. I couldn’t help it and I didn’t try to stop it, but I did hide behind a napkin. I don’t like that I am embarrassed to cry, but hiding is my first instinct!
How do you feel when you see other people crying in public?
Three years ago, we put our beloved dog, Cash, down in the middle of the night. It was swift and dramatic and devastating. He bloated after a medical procedure and was suffering horribly from a twisted stomach.
With a mere 45 minutes of sleep that night, I cried off and on all day. A good friend offered to take the girls for dinner so that Will and I could have some time. Why we thought it was a good idea to go out to eat I don’t know, but I suppose the freedom seemed too good to pass up and we decided to splurge on a meal at the newly-opened 10 Barrel. Well, I sat on a stool and bawled in the middle of this very crowded restaurant while our waiter cautiously took our order and subsequent instructions from Will. After at least an hour of awkward avoidance, I looked up at the waiter as he visited the table and blubbered, “Sorry, but we had to put our dog down very suddenly last night! Boohoohoohoo.” That poor waiter looked SO relieved! I could just imagine that he was thinking Will asked me for a divorce or told me he was having an affair or something. Once the truth was out there, he offered his condolences and stopped avoiding us. He even added that he had been there himself.
Yesterday, the cafe wasn’t crowded and there was no one waiting on us once we had our food, but I still kind of fantasized about standing up and addressing the handful of patrons with an explanation: “It’s nothing really. No one died. We’re happily married. I’m just being silly. You know, cancer side effects and all.”
Rest in peace, Cashman. I miss you terribly.